"Chicago" Must Be Desparate to Sell Tickets

I have no interest in seeing Chicago on Broadway becuase, and I'm not really sure why, the producers are only interested in hiring has-beens or no bodies for the main roles.

Here's a list of the fabulous 'singers,' 'actors,' and celebutards that have filled the shoes as Roxy Hart or whoever Catherine Zeta-Jones played:

-Ashlee Simpson
-Kelly Osbourne
-Brooke Sheilds
-John O'Hurley (you know, Elaine's boss from Seinfeld)
-Usher
-Lisa Rinna aka 'Lips'
-Harry Hamlin
-Melanie Griffith
-Joey Lawrence
-David Hasslehoff
-Wayne Brady
-Bebe Neuwirth


So really the 'who's who' of performers I see. I mean, how did they get the Hoff? I thought he was busy tearing down the Berlin Wall or curing cancer. I guess he made time in between receiving his Nobel Peace Prize and judging 'America's Got Talent.'



But what wonderfully talented duo have these producers chosen for the next season of Chicago? What famed and classically trianed actors are good enough to lead this show?

Why it's Tori Spelling and her creepy husband Dean McDermott!

Good choice?