My First Post

What's up beetches?! This is my first post..ever. So take heed my little lambs, 'cause mama Cranz is gonna pile on a huge helpin' of bitchy celebrity gravy. Mmmm...celebrity gravy.


What other way to kick off a celebrity blog than talk about Britney Spears! Of course, I'm only the 9,877,345 to discuss last Sunday night's VMA Britney Debacle Spangly Extravaganza. Everyone is making quite the stinkypoo about her fat-tastic bedazzled nightmare of a lingerie set (Brit probably borrowed that from Paris. It looks like something that skank would own) and the mussed weave that MTV bizarrely chose to focus on at the beginning of the set. Poor girl didn't have a chance! Although, I have to say, my sympathy ran out a while ago, for my corneas were seared from the labia flashing and ears were assaulted with 'Gimme More' (no thanks.)

But really, were we so shocked that the performance was such a stinker? I was actually expecting worse, and although she looked groggy throughout the performance, she didn't puke all over herself or fall off stage, which really surprised me. I was sure her weave would accidentally get yanked or she'd just peel off all her clothes like a two year old. What a gip!

Oh well, enough about her!

So here's a tidbit of random news that many of you could give two poops about. But I care. I care.



The Women, a film that was made in 1939 with Joan Crawford, Norma Shearer and one of my favorite fast-talkin' dames, Rosalind Russell is being re-made for theaters in 2008 with Eva Mendes, Meg Ryan, Annette Bening (yay!), Candice Bergen, and Jada Pinkett Smith. If you haven't seen this movie, please netflix this because it is a hoot! The original is a black & white film with a female only cast (even the animals are female.) It focuses on a set of hoighty toighty New York Upper East Side women who are beetches extraordinaire! Norma's character finds out through her snippy cousin's trickery (the hilarious Russel as Sylvia Fowler) that her husband is having an affair with glamorous yet conniving shop girl Joan Crawford and decides to go to Reno for a divorce. It's very witty and sassy and quite groundbreaking for 1939.

But I'm worried about the re-make. I'm not too hot on the cast (Meg Ryan? Bitch is still making movies?!) And Debra Messy? Poo. Poo on those Hollywood suits who want to destroy a classic. All I gots to say is they better not cut out the fashion show part in the middle or make it a drama. Write your congressman!